Been thinking how much I just miss ur voice lately. U walk around everyday just getting on with ur life then all of a sudden u remember that this is real, u really are gone. Its a strange feeling and I guess it will never change, it will always be there.
Well me and Scott been busy lately. Just upt our mortgage. Now we're arguing over what to do with the money lol. He wants room in the roof with an ensuite (which I would love) but I would rather do the whole house with it LOL. We're waiting for quotes on the roof to then decide what to do. So watch this space lol. Holiday is drawing nearer. Cant wait. Think me and Scott deserve a break, not sure how much of a break it will be though. Theres me and scott, brooke and riley, Gary and Lorna and their two, Jim and Tiff and their two, Kerri Mansell and her girl, Mark and Nic, Darren mansell and our mate Lee so whats that, 7 kids!!!! LOL. Gonna be running round after them the whole time LOL. Be great though! Been busy running round sorting Tiffs hen do and sorting flowers and trying my Matron of Honour dress. Cant wait for that either. Keep telling Scott to get his arse in gear and sort of Jims stag do. Scott and Mark are the best men (that wasnt obvious was it lol) Well I managed to convince ya sister to wear a lil black dress for the hen night in London, altough she does keep trying to get me to buy it for her (cheeky lol) and is refusing to go on the London eye. Bloody pansy!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just booked a weekend in London with Fee for my bday. Cant wait for that either. Going to see chicago on the Sat night. Kelly Osbourne is in it at the mo!!!!! Think me and Scott are booking ourseves up as much as poss as we hardly done anything last year. Neither of us felt ready to start enjoying our lives with out u here, but its one of those things, when DO you start getting on with ur life. We're trying though.
Brooke and Riley are as annoying as ever LOL. Shannon got into the school she wanted. Bless her. Cant belive its secondary school this year LOL. Cant believe me and Scott have been together 10 years on ur bday. Always used to wind u up saying "u know what i was doing on ur birthday" U'd have ur fingers in ur years going "yuk yuk lalalalala" LOL. Nicki always does it too PMSL
Your rose bush is starting to leaf so hopefully we will have some lovely roses on it this year. Which will be nice.
To the living, I am gone. To the sorrowful, I will never return. To the angry, I was cheated. To the happy, I am at peace. To the faithful, I have never left. I cannot speak, but I can listen. I cannot be seen but I can be heard. So as you look in awe at a mighty forest and its grand majesty, Remember me. Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, and your memories. Of the times we cried, the times we fought, and the times we laughed. For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.
Baby why'd you leave me Why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever, now I'll never know I can't even breathe It's like I'm looking from a distance Standing in the background Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now This can't be happening to me This is just a dream
The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard Then they handed her a folded up flag And she held on to all she had left of him Oh, and what could have been And then the guns rang one last shot And it felt like a bullet in her heart
Baby why'd you leave me Why'd you have to go? I was counting on forever, now I'll never know I can't even breathe It's like I'm looking from a distance Standing in the background Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now This can't be happening to me This is just a dream
why u had to go / Kirsty (lil sis )
God i mis you so much and i guess it just hits you some times and you realise you are really not coming back. I dont know how i'm supposed to cope. i miss you so much. Everything remids me of you. Hey it can make you and break you too. Guess its broke me like it broke you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close
Miss Youu xxx / Shannon Bailey (Neice)
I H8 MY LIFE SOO MUCH!! Y DUS IT HAVE 2 HAPPEN 2 ME ?? Y ME?????? Y DUS MY FRIEND SHIP HAVE 2 MUCK UP!!?? MISS U SO MUCH!!
Miss Youu xxx / Shannon Bailey (Neice)
hey auntie Sam,
Well the new year was the hardest bit 4 all of us! mum done my cake at midnight as normal. the all came in mum was holdin the cake, i jus started cryin i dont no y tho. everyone else always smiles wen their mum or dad brings there cake in but me i cried. it jus felt like a normal day 2 me it didnt seem special but MY FAMILY the ones I NEED made it special 4 me!! Jay has been helpin mum around the house an we all are findin it hard. but like mum sed on my b/day it will be easier bcoz weve been thru it b4.
I MISS AN LOVE U SO MUCH!!!!
WISH U COULD BE HERE RIGHT NOW AN SAY EVERYTHIN IS OK!!
I LOVE U WITH ALL MY HEART WELL WATS LEFT OF IT ANYWAY!!
Hey babes, Not much going on. Rileys hit the terrible twos and is driving me mad. Apparently the word no isnt in his dictionary LOL. Brookes good, Shes a bit annoying sometimes, butting in and stuff but shes ok really. Jay ok. Him and Demi seems to be good together. Hes at Nics most of the time. We all know what those two are like they are so close that they argue like anything after a while have a big row, dont speak for a few weeks then back to normal as if nothing happened LOL. They've always been like that always will but they are good at the mo. Put a couple of new pics on of Jay for you. Carlie-Anne is just being a typical teenager at the mo and that self explainatory LOL!!!!! Shannon and Lib are good too. Taking them up town tomorrow on a shopping spree (that will be fun LOL) Its Bris bday in a few days as you know so I have made a few graphics for him and Nicki is gonna put them on his site. We talked bout it and knew you would want it to be looked after and always look nice and upto date rather than us being selfish and wanting it to stay as it is as u made it. Just payed some more off our holiday which is so heart breaking coz u give them loadsa money and get nothing back till august LOL. Me and Scott are looking at a week away, just the four of us over new year, maybe italy which will be nice. Me and Scott are out tomorrow night which will be nice. I'm getting a bit stressed out at the mo so will be nice to let off some steam. got a busy month at the mo. There are so many birthdays in jan and feb for us so constant partying for a few weeks He he. I started going to the gym. Kinda miss that its not me and you like we planned but I'm going anyway. First session killed me lol but getting there now going everyother day and really pushed myself wed night. was there for an hour and a half!!! anyway gonna go coz got the kids off today as I hurt my hip last night, guess gonna have to put up with that forever now! Love you and miss you so much xxxxxx
Thinking of you / Kay~Mom To Angel Ashley Mohr~ (Angel friend )Read >>
Thinking of you / Kay~Mom To Angel Ashley Mohr~ (Angel friend ) Close
Miss Youu / Nicki Bailey (LIL SIS ALWAYS!!!! )Read >>
Miss Youu / Nicki Bailey (LIL SIS ALWAYS!!!! )
Well wat can i say???????.............
It's been a tough year,a bloody tough year,it still hurts 2day as much as it did last year. Me,Scott an Kirsty have managed 2 get thro this 2gether an be there 4 each other but we still wish u were here.
Didn't really celebrate New Years Eve,did Shannon's cake at midnight as always,she cried wen i brought the cake in,we sang happy birthday but instead of smiles there were tears from all of us. Ur Jay was here,he hugged us all an stayed wit us. He's been so brave bless him. He wrote me a letter on the pc last nite an asked me 2 save it an read it whenever i was feelin down,i'll put it on here wen i feel a bit better. He says that i'm like a 2nd Mum 2 him so i sed no Jay i'm ur Auntie,he said U,Uncle Scott an Auntie Kirsty are the only ones that have been there 4 me no matter wat,i jus said 2 him,i made ur mum a promise wen i went 2 see her in the chapel an that promise was that i would ALWAYS be there 4 her kids if they need me an that is one promise i WILL NEVER break,i promised u that Sis an i mean it,the other 2 might not want 2 see me an they can say sum nasty things 2 me that hurt,things like "well my mum hated u anyway",it used 2 get 2 me but it dont no more not after wat Jay wrote 2 me. He's a good boy really,he's jus a little lost at the moment tryin 2 cum 2 terms wit losin u but he's doin ok,he sed he realises who his real family are now.
Anyway Sis i better go cos it's Shannon's birthday 2day so i need 2 spend a bit of time wit her. I'll cum on again l8r ok.
Well Sam its been a strange year. None of us have really known how to deal with this and how to carry on but we have. As hard as it has been we have carried on but we think of you every second. As you know I wrote on here to you yesterday and said what I needed to say then it crashed and didnt save LOL. Bloody computers. Well It didnt need to save I know you heard it all.
We didnt celebrate anything last night. Just fell asleep infront of the tele bout half ten then woke up this morning. Me and Scott said we will do something next year maybe go out for a meal with friends or something. We knew this one would be the hardest and we just slept thru it. Spoke to Jay last night hes ok. Bless him. I realised last night how alone hes felt this year. Hes had people around him but I guess he never felt like he could go to anyone or trust them but me and him have been talking for the last few weeks, a few stories have come out and I think hes realised we are there for him and he doesnt have to try to be a big boy and be strong. We wont turn him away when he doesnt do what we expect of him. He thanked me for everything and I told him he doesnt have to thank me for anything thats my job as his FAMILY. I'm always here, so is Scott and Nicki. We are a family and it took you to leave us to weed out the rotten eggs and set aside the true family the ones that are there no matter what. And he knows that now. Well its a new year and we arent starting it with tears of you leaving and fake smiles. We arent starting it with fake I love yous and fake cares. The ones who really care for each other are together. I like coming on here to see you coz I know its all about you not other people. Theres very few messages from people who didnt even know you its all from people who did and who loved you and who were there for you in the end. All I can say is I'm sorry we obivously didnt do enough but I hope wherever you are you are finally happy. Gonna start this year with a smile that we can move on and hold you so deeply in our hearts and there is no pretending or fake smiles from people. Got loads planned this year and gonna try and make this a good one. You will always be on my sleeve and in my heart. And I will still come on here as often as I have for the past year. You were my sister, my strength and my pride and no one can take that from me however much they try coz we know how we were together and that all that counts
1 year on / Lisa (friend)
its new year n i was out but it wasnt the same.no matter wot went on n wot i did i couldnt enjoy myself,as all i thought about was u. its been really hard 4 me,god only nos wot its been like 4 ur family.losin u was like losin a sister, sounds silly but u cant help wot i feel.my only wish is that u found wot u were lookin 4.missin u loads xxxxxxx Close
1 year / Bruv
hey sis, as quick as it has gone, it is finally here! its never new years eve or new years day, it began friday 29th at 8:45 when i pulled up to your house and saw what i will never ever forget!! even though you were in hospital i knew that you werent really with us its been a tough year, as if it wasnt bad enough to lose my sister, with everything else that went on i ended up losing most of my family! i have few regrets about what went on but your mum is ment to be your mum, be there no matter what, funny how people are and what they want to believe. i miss her she is my mum no matter what, i have my little family and i will always be there for them, i hope. it upsets me that you never get to see Riley, all the little things he does and that he will never have his own memories of you! well its soon going to be new year and i hope that 2008 will be ten times better!! love you sis and you will be in my heart and my mind forever and ever xxxx Close
Well Sis It's Here :( / Nicki Bailey (LIL SIS ALWAYS!!!! )Read >>
Well Sis It's Here :( / Nicki Bailey (LIL SIS ALWAYS!!!! )
Well Sis the day i have been dreadin is here Been feelin a bit weird since Friday night,couldn't sleep at all Friday night cos the 29th December last year was a Friday an all i kept thinkin was "well this time last year i was at the hospital wit u" Was a bit manic last year but i made sure i was home at midnight 2 do Shannons cake 4 her b/day like i always do,need 2 make it special 4 her if i can but its sooooooo hard wen the grief of losin u is the same day as her b/day,i kno it's not u fault an u didnt purposely set out 2 die on her b/day as u loved her so much,as far as u were concerned u went on the 29th.
Been chattin 2 our Lil Bro Scott a few times 2day,he's strugglin as much as me bless him,hes gonna stay up till midnight an have a drink wit u,i'm not drinkin 2day,gonna do Shannons cake at midnight then go 2 bed,there will never be a New Years Eve party 4 me again.....
Anyway Sis i'm gonna go settle Libby down,she takes ages lol. I LOVE AN MISS U SO MUCH SIS,WHICH U HAD OF RUNG ME THAT NIGHT :(
xmas/ Kirsty (lil sis-in-law )
I hope your looking down babe. Coz then u'll be able to see the truth and know whos two faced and pathetic.
spent xmas day at nickis with Jay. Hes doing ok but not well. He broke down when I gave him his xmas pressie and cryed on my shoulder. Hes having a hard time as you know. You left him and your not coming back he cant change that but some people are still here and PROMISED you they would help the kids and always be there for them instead they are turning there backs coz its suits them. Georgia and Leighton have chosen not to see us thats there choice but we will always be here for them NO MATTER WHAT. Doesnt matter who they see or dont see they are our family and we PROMISED you we would be there and we will when they are ready regardless. But for now we will be there for Jay as PROMISED. I care what you wanted i care what you would want unlike others who are so far up there own arses they cant see in the mirror.
Anyway babes, I needed to get that off my chest coz I am fed up with treading on eggshells while everyone else does what they want regardless of everyone else. Me and you would sit for hours slagging off all the people who are behaving like spoilt brats and I miss that. This is the closest ill get to our little rants that always made us feel better and make us giggle and put a smile on our faces LOL. I'll always be there as a shoulder to cry on for Jay you know that and you know the truth. I'll see you at the pearly gates for a good Bitching bout everything that you left behind.
Tributes and Condolences
Been feelin a bit weird since Friday night,couldn't sleep at all Friday night cos the 29th December last year was a Friday an all i kept thinkin was "well this time last year i was at the hospital wit u" Was a bit manic last year but i made sure i was home at midnight 2 do Shannons cake 4 her b/day like i always do,need 2 make it special 4 her if i can but its sooooooo hard wen the grief of losin u is the same day as her b/day,i kno it's not u fault an u didnt purposely set out 2 die on her b/day as u loved her so much,as far as u were concerned u went on the 29th.
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