site / Kirsty
Really sorry site not been updated babe. My lap top is broken n when I went to do it now at my mums its all funny n wont let me???? I will get it done as soon as. I havent forgotten. Missing u so much. Every thing is so all over the place. Same as usual people talking shit bout others. People never learn or grow up. I can take it. Good Job we have a sense of humour n we just think its all funny. Wish u were here xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

x / Carlie Bailey (Niece)
i thought its ment to get easier this annversery has to be the worst one yet its horrible i just want you back you proberly saw me last night in a state crying and stuff lol but i cant help it it all gets to me and i have to let it out some way me and mum was talking last night and im going to see a counsiler so i dont have to keep it bottled up anymore like ive been doing.. miss you lotss  love ya xxxx Close

3 years  / Kirsty

Finding it hard to hold it together but I will. Work keeping my mind off it and i'm sure I will loose myself tonight.

 

I love you and wish you were here and I have nothing more to say xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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xx / Carlie Bailey (Neice)
Well its this time again auntie sam i cant believe i havent seen you for 3 years its so hard i still remember the very day and i will never forget it as long as i live and the last kiss you gave me the day before i will tresure them moments forever i miss you so much just wish you could be here. theres not one day that goes by when i dont think of you. miss you so much love you foreverr xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

3 years today  / Scott (bruv)

hey sis well its here today is the day you died....today is the day that you wanted to give up and leave all the crap behind......to me it was today and not on the 1st of jan........i'll remember for the rest of my life.... about 8:30 getting that call and just getting in my van and driving over to yours knowing as i was driving along but praying i was wrong.....and the sight i saw when i turned that corner.... i just sat in my van not knowing what to do.....  i wanted to run into your house but i physically couldnt.......i knew, i dont know how, but i knew there and then what you had done and that was it... i kinda resented them for keeping you alive for those 3 days because you werent, you were gone.........i went back to the house, i dont know why but i just needed too,  i broke in and i tidyed up for you, cleaned your floors from their dirty footprints and cleared up all the smashed glass that was everywhere.....then i went upstairs and into your room, again i dont know why i just had too,  it was strange but just sitting there it felt right and i forgot everything for a while.......i just wish i had rung you  back instead of texting you....if i had spoke to you i would of known something was up and i really believe i could of talked you round i really believe i could maybe thats why you text and never rung me?...........

....sam i wanna say i think about you every minute of every day but i dont and  i hate myself for that but i know that deep down im always thinking about you x x x.........i miss you so much sis x x x x.....i love you and i always will i will never forget you x x x x

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2009 / Kirsty

Here again. I'm working n finding it hard to concerntrate but atleast I have something to take my mind off the next few days. Found yesterday really hard. It suddenly dawned on me that this is the first time me n scott have to do this without each others support. I know everything thats happened and we just dont want to be together anymore but 11 years is a long time to have a shoulder n that is now gone. It is strange being on my own but its just what we both need to do. I know we row all the time but doesnt mean I dont miss it all.

 

I love u and wil be thinking of you every minute of the next few days. I can still smell and tast evrything n every second is so clear in my head. I wish I could shake it but I cant.

 

I miss u xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Hi Sis  / Nicki Bailey (Lil Sis Always! )
Hi Sis
Sorry I Haven't Been On RecentlyBut I Moved House Jus B4 Xmas An Had 2 Wait 2 Get My Internet!! Took Ages!!! Best Thing I Ever Did Was Move!!

As U Can See I Have Had A Lot Of Change In My Life Recently! All For The Good As WellI Know That U Wud Of Given Me Ur Blessing . The Kids Had A Good ChristmasGot Them Everything They Wanted Bless Em!

Been Helping Our Bro Out A Lot As Well RecentlyI Have The Kids For Him While He Works An Wen He's On Call! Riley Goes To Nursery Now An He Loves It! Got His Friends There Bless Him!!! I Pick Brooke Up From School Everyday As WellU Shud See Us Both Standing At The Bus Stop Shivering Cos It's Cold Lol!!

Wel Shannon Turns 13 This Friday! Can't Believe How Quick Time Has Gone! Libby Will Be 9 On Sunday (same day as our Bro!)It's Mad To Think That She Was Born So Prem Wen U Look At Her Now! Carlie Will Be 18 In April! Now That Makes Me Feel Old Lol! She's A Good KidHelps Me Out So Much! U 2 Wud Of Got On FabShe's Jus Like U!! They Miss U So Much Bless Them! Shannon Finally Saw Sense And Saw For Herself Wat Her Sperm Donor Was Really Like! She Don't Want Anything To Do Wit Him Or His Family Anymore!!! They Still Try An Blame Me Tho An Say It's Me Thats Stopped Her!! We Kno The Truth An Thats All That Matters To Me.

Nothing Ever Really Changes Elsewhere Tho! U Kno Wat I Mean Sad Really!! Gonna Revamp Ur Site Soon Wen I Get A Bit Of Time To Myself Lol!

Anyway SisI Better Go Now Cos Dinner Is Nearly Ready. I Miss U So Much SisIt's So Hard Without U But I Kno Ur Looking Down On Us AllMe An My Bro Have Each Other An Our KidsThats All We Need Apart From Having U Here With Us I Love U My Beautiful Angel xxxxxxxxxx Close

xmas eve  / Kirsty

well its here again. All the running round getting everything ready n it will be all over in a few hours ha ha. Kids are tucked up in bed n I have a hang over from last nights escapades lol.

Still feels like yesterday u were at the flat bringing the xmas pressies round sitting having a coffee talking bout u not being able to have the kids and what u were gonna do on xmas on ur own.  really cant believe its been 3 years since I last saw u last hugged u last kissed u last spoke to u. We will enjoy tomorrow but will think of u all day.

 

love u always miss u forever xxxxxxxx 

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christmas / Scott (bruv)
hey sis well its christmas eve and everyone is happy and excited well not everyone...how can you get excited when your going to wake up on your own while your kids are somewhere else?...well you know that feeling more than anyone!....anyway its that time of year where in a coulpe of days my thoughts go back to 3 years ago now its not the day you died its the weekend you died and the thoughts of if's and but's fly around my head not too mention why....but i will never know i suppose......well for the want of a better word happy christmas sam i hope your looking over your kids......love you sis always and forever x x x x x xx Close

... / Shannon Bailey (Neice)
well i havent been on here in a longg longg timee..

i know it sounds stupid but when i miss you so muchh i just thinkk you've gone awayy on holidayy or somewhere & you'd be back soon.. if only you had only gone on holiday for real.. not up there .. i miss you so muchh.. i just wishh there was some way for you too come backk..
its christmas evee and im exctied for christmas day so i can open my jack wills jumper haha.. then another week till my birthdayy.. i'm excited for my birthday too but i'll still be thinking of you every single minute of the day..


i dont know what else to writee so im gonna go..

rest in peace auntie sam.. i love you so muchh Close

monday / Kirsty

I feel so weird. My grandad died on monday and I disowned him 8 years ago.  always knew this day would come and wondered how I would feel. Monday i had no feelings tuesday I felt weird I felt only sad that I didnt think i felt anything which made me sad but today I just wanna cry as I fill with regret that I gave up 8 years ago. He never saw brooke or riley not even a photo. I was protecting them from going through the hurt I went through with him. Now I realise that maybe when he beccame ill a couple of months ago I should have made my peace. but I guess it was pride that stopped me. I had made my decision and I was going to stick to it. now I cant change that. Its nearly christmas and its 7 years since my nandad died next week and it almost 3 years since u left. I feel like someone just dropped a massive rock on my back today.

 

Miss you sooooooo much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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xx / Carlie Bailey (Neice)

nearly 3 years since you have been gone and nott a day goes by when i dont think about you look after deagan and max for me love you so much missing you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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3 years  / Kirsty (sis-in-law)

You took my hand you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me

If someone said 3 years from now you'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out coz they're all wrong

I know better cause you said forever and ever WHO KNEW???

Remember when we were such fools

so convinced and just too cool

I wish I could touch you again i wish I could still call you a friend

I'd give anything.

When someone said count your blessings now before they're long gone

I guess I just didnt know how

I was all wrong they knew better still you said forever and ever

WHO KNEW????????

I'll keep you locked in my head until we meet again

AND I WONT FORGET YOU MY FRIEND

WHAT HAPPENED????

If someone said 3 years from now you'd be long gone

i'd stand up and punch them out coz they're all wrong

And that last kiss I'll cherish until we meet again

And time makes it harder I wish I could remember

But I'll keep your memory You'll visit me in my sleep

My darling xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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hey / Kirsty

hey gorgeous.

Its all getting bit easier and calming down now. i also think people have realised this is it. Its not like before. We're both happier this way.

Found everything really hard and it all got on top of me couple of weeks ago but i'm all good now. Got the kids this weekend. Gonna go to mine in a min so they can play on the trampolines :)

Roo starts nursery monday. His speak is so much better now. he can completely communicate its great. Brookes doing great too. cant believe shes 9. Where did it go?? Spoke to Georgia the other day. She got hit by a car when she was on her bike but I'm sure u know coz I'm sure u were there beside her. Shes all good now though. My works going great. so busy at the mo. Have so much work on reviewing all the direct debits for 40 thousand accounts LOL. I know snowed under but I get to sit listening to me music instead of being on the phones so can moan U just hear me shouting TUNEAGE!!! all day ha ha. and I cant help but dance he he. I just love knowing I'm independant. Everything I own I bought it, I earnt it. All the clothes I have the dvds, phone, weekends away, I earnt the lot I worked for it and no one bought it for me. No man is supporting me and I'm EARNING my money. LOVE IT!!!!! Its an amazing feeling

Anyway Just wanted to chat.

Loves you xxxxxxxxxxxxx 

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(L) x  / Shannon Bailey (Neice)
Well i guess today hasnt been the day. I just really want to go on Saturday and by the looks of it, i might :). But it all depends really, i got myself all worked up, just for something silly,well its not that silly,we've just had it planned to go out on the 20th for months. Well i probably will go anyway :)

Im going now,gonna watch Eastenderss :)

iloveyou loads :)
missyou (L) x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Close

Miss You (L).  / Shannon Bailey (Neice)
hello auntie sam (L),,

well i havent been on here for agesss, and everythings gone on.
i see my dad now :) i see him saturdays and sometimes in the week,and im glad i see him now. its thanks to carlie anne for talking to me about it :),i was so scared when i first went to see him lol,we went to the harvester :) and it was lovely, well thats one thing thats gone on, and a load of others, i cant believe how much can happen in a couple of months.

im getting on at school fine :), i hate getting up at half 6 though! lol. i leave soon,in about 4 weeks i think, this years just gone really quick! lol.

im still breaking and making up with all my friends haha,but i suppose thats life. me and amber have become much more closer now and i know the reason why :), im glad she told me so now i can understand why shes moaning and upset sometimes, and i can try and help her through it :),i'll always be here for her :)

we walked down to asda today with toby :) got her next door neighbours birthday present :), we walked down there yesterday too :). its turning summerrrrr :) i can go to the beach and catch a tan now :), i cant waittttttt :) i've been waiting agesss lol, now its turning summer i want to go places, even if its just a walk lol, its nice to be out in the sunnnn :) i wish you was here then we could all catch a tan together lol.

well you would be 38 on tuesday, not long till the big 40! lol,
its only about 6 months i think,till my 13th birthday,a teenagerrrr :) but its your 3rd anniversery in heaven :(, i cant believe how quick its gone, but i suppose you wouldnt want us all to be miserable, i know you didnt mean to die on my birthday but the stupid doctors or nurses whatever they are pronounced you dead on the 1st of january :(

right i got to go now,need to get ready for bed got school in the morning! :(.

i'll see you one day,
iloveyou somuch (L)(L)(L)(L). Close

Missing you  / Carlie Bailey (Neice)
Hello auntie sam, sorry havent wrote on here in a while, but theres not a day that goes by when im not thinking about you. dad got back in contact but things just went tits up again, but he aint never been there for me anyway so im not that botherd, things have been hard these last few days i hope your with me, i miss you so much just wish you was here with us, 38 on tuesday nearly 40 lol i cud imagine wat you'd be saying if you was still here, i finally finshed my college course and passed it, got onto the next level so thats good :) just need to get a job now but its too hard cant find one anywhere..anyway im off ill be back on here on tuesday, love you so much thinking about you all the time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

hey / Scott (bruv)
hey sam, well you know i only ever come on here when its all gone tits up , well here we are again. i want to write this but then im not writing it because i hope kirsty or anyone else sees it, im past all that. but i got too, we've all been through shit, and im fed up of it, where does it ever end? does it end by doing what you did? why did you do it sis?? i try and tell myself i understand and i can see why, but honestly i cant. your my sister sam and i can never talk to you again, ever! how fair is that? why do i deserve never to see you again? why do i deserve never to be able to talk to you again? do i deserve to go through all my shit without you by my side??? FUCK!!!!!! forgrt it, your not going to help me, your not going to tell me what to do, your not going to tell me its going to be alright!!...why sam why......i love you, but why xx xx xx Close